ekaterinn

Positives for today: I bought the habitat and some of the other things I will need for the class gecko! Tomorrow, I will get the actual lizard! Also, RE went very well, and I got to talk to a few people at church I have been missing, so that was tres yay!

Negatives: State politics, and how they seem determined to ruin the (very good, if high-poverty) school district I work for. Need I say more? Also, plus, it's end of the year, which is always hectic.

So since tomorrow I will go to battle with testing, kids who don't like their routines changed, and my own angry thoughts, have this poem:

What She Was Wearing
by Denver Butson

this is my suicide dress
she told him
I only wear it on days
when I'm afraid
I might kill myself
if I don't wear it

you've been wearing it
every day since we met
he said

and these are my arson gloves

so you don't set fire to something?
he asked

exactly

and this is my terrorism lipstick
my assault and battery eyeliner
my armed robbery boots

I'd like to undress you he said
but would that make me an accomplice?

and today she said I'm wearing
my infidelity underwear
so don't get any ideas

and she put on her nervous breakdown hat
and walked out the door

Current Mood: bitchy

I teach RE (what some may call Sunday School) at my local UU church. I teach the 5-6 year olds, who are only slightly older than the 4-5 year olds I teach during the week. I've been doing this for close to two years now, and have rewritten the curriculum we're using this year to better serve the needs of this class. I have several of the same kids as last year, and I love spending time with them and watching them grow in all sorts of ways. I've even gotten compliments from a few parents, stating how much their kids like having me as a teacher, which is always nice to hear.

And yet, I've increasingly come to find going to church an isolating experience. A typical Sunday morning involves me getting up slightly before church, making sure I have any teaching materials that I need, and driving there to hopefully set up before class begins. (If I manage to wake up early, I may go to the first service before I teach at the second service). I teach my class, along with a co-teacher, moving through circle time, the activity, outside or craft time, and snack easily. And then class is over, parents pick up their kids, and I wander out to get some coffee before they pack it up.

And often nobody talks to me because they're busy with their kids, or busy with their friends, talking about the service, or simply busy. I'm just odd, someone who teaches RE, even though I don't have kids. I know I should try to get more involved with the grown-up part of church, the small group ministries, the outreach groups, and so forth. I value this church, and I've been a part of some cool things because of it. But there's a large part of me wondering if I should continue to try at all.

Perhaps this poet had it right, and we should simply stay at age 6:

The End by A. A. Milne

When I was One
I had just begun.

When I was Two,
I was nearly new.

When I was Three,
I was hardly Me.

When I was Four,
I was not much more.

When I was Five,
I was just alive.

But now that I am Six, I'm as clever as clever.
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.

Happy Turkey Day to all Stateside on my flist! This has been a rather a tumultuous fall for me, and I have not been keeping up with either DW or LJ very well. In the last few months, I have: had a very rough start to the year, behavior and evaluation wise, broken up with my girlfriend of two years (a mutual decision, but still sad), been very sick with the Bavarian Death Flu, embarked on something new and exciting, but still a bit scary, with an old friend, submitted my first grant (a whole half-hour before the deadline!), taught (and wrote a curriculum for) RE, been taking two grad classes while working full time, and been missing my sister living with me.

Things have settled down some now, but I am gearing up for my winter holidays unit (Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa), preparing for my second observation, hopefully buying presents and sending out cards, and, oh yeah, writing another grant, a final, and two IEPs.

I am very grateful to all of my friends, both online and off, this year!

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: The Kick Inside

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Entries tagged with uu

and she put on her nervous breakdown hat

for ever and ever

"Gobble, gobble," the goblins sing.

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