Seven Days
May. 18th, 2003 04:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ekaterinnIt's hard to believe that I fly back to the States in just a week. Time has flown by so fast, I've hardly gotten a chance to catch any of it. Anyway, I thought today might be a good day to talk about the year in general and what it's meant to me, so here you go (if you're at all interested, of course, it's most just boring stuffers):
I've lived in Ireland for eight months and go back to live in the States for at least another year a week from now. It's been an incredible year, and I mean that in both the sense of being hard to believe and the sense of being fantastic. I got to do a lot of things that I thought I would never do and didn't get to do some of the things I had been expecting to do. I discovered that I really do feel more at home in Europe than America, and that I can survive the icky weather and being thousands of miles away from my family (and, at this stage, my closest friends) to want to live here permanently one day. (The Internet has been a lifesaver in that aspect. Yay email from friends!) I now know that I like Dublin a lot more than I thought I did during my previous one-week visit and that I'll be equally happy either here or in London (and if you knew how London-centric I was before, that's saying a lot!). Conversely, I've also realised that there's things about Louisiana that I like and miss, and that, however much the U.S. South might annoy me sometimes, I've become comfortable with it and it will always be a part of me.
As well as Dublin and Ireland in general, I'll also miss Trinity College. I've enjoyed most of my classes here, especially the English tutorials. I've also met some wonderful people here. In fact, some of my only regrets about the year involve not getting more involved in the societies and not meeting more people. I'm planning on applying to Trinity for postgrad, but that's at least a year from now.
This year has also made me stronger and more confidant. And although shit has happened both back home and here, I think I am more able to deal with it now. I may have finally grown up...just a bit, though. *winks*
And so though I'm excited about going back and seeing my friends and my family and doing research, my biggest fear at the moment that it won't be academically, financially, or just generally feasible for me to come back anytime soon. That no amount of determination will be enough. That I won't get the grades on my exams that I need to get in order to get into the graduate programs I want to over here. Worst of all, I'm scared that I'll convince myself that it will be easier to stay in the States and that I'll come back one day...but I'll end up being too busy and settled in life to do so.
But those fears are in the future, so I'm going to try to concentrate on enjoying the summer and next year, and the challenges they will bring.
And if you actually read all that, you get a cookie.
I've lived in Ireland for eight months and go back to live in the States for at least another year a week from now. It's been an incredible year, and I mean that in both the sense of being hard to believe and the sense of being fantastic. I got to do a lot of things that I thought I would never do and didn't get to do some of the things I had been expecting to do. I discovered that I really do feel more at home in Europe than America, and that I can survive the icky weather and being thousands of miles away from my family (and, at this stage, my closest friends) to want to live here permanently one day. (The Internet has been a lifesaver in that aspect. Yay email from friends!) I now know that I like Dublin a lot more than I thought I did during my previous one-week visit and that I'll be equally happy either here or in London (and if you knew how London-centric I was before, that's saying a lot!). Conversely, I've also realised that there's things about Louisiana that I like and miss, and that, however much the U.S. South might annoy me sometimes, I've become comfortable with it and it will always be a part of me.
As well as Dublin and Ireland in general, I'll also miss Trinity College. I've enjoyed most of my classes here, especially the English tutorials. I've also met some wonderful people here. In fact, some of my only regrets about the year involve not getting more involved in the societies and not meeting more people. I'm planning on applying to Trinity for postgrad, but that's at least a year from now.
This year has also made me stronger and more confidant. And although shit has happened both back home and here, I think I am more able to deal with it now. I may have finally grown up...just a bit, though. *winks*
And so though I'm excited about going back and seeing my friends and my family and doing research, my biggest fear at the moment that it won't be academically, financially, or just generally feasible for me to come back anytime soon. That no amount of determination will be enough. That I won't get the grades on my exams that I need to get in order to get into the graduate programs I want to over here. Worst of all, I'm scared that I'll convince myself that it will be easier to stay in the States and that I'll come back one day...but I'll end up being too busy and settled in life to do so.
But those fears are in the future, so I'm going to try to concentrate on enjoying the summer and next year, and the challenges they will bring.
And if you actually read all that, you get a cookie.
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-18 04:28 pm (UTC)Hey so, when are you done with exams again? We should get coffee before you go.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 01:45 am (UTC)I should be done with my last exam on Thrusday at 11 - so coffee sounds good. When are you free?
no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 05:59 pm (UTC)Thank *Insert Deity Here* for memories. And cameras. :)
Re:
Date: 2003-05-20 03:02 am (UTC)kaerimashou
Date: 2003-05-19 10:48 pm (UTC)Re: kaerimashou
Date: 2003-05-20 03:06 am (UTC)