SGA Flashfiction Challenge Fic: Meow
Oct. 24th, 2005 11:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ekaterinnTitle: Meow
Pairing: McKay/Zelenka
Rating: PG
Summary: Rodney is a cat person. Emphasis on the person part.
Notes: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sweetvalleyslut for the SV and SGA Flashfiction Challenge with the prompt of McKay/Zelenka, with McKay berating his science team, because I love that. What she got was a very cracked-out fic - I hope you still like it, sweetvalleyslut!
Also,amai, who is the most wonderful person ever, drew a picture to go along with the fic! It's at the bottom of page, after the story. *snuggles her*
It was a normal day on Atlantis: Rodney was insulting everybody else's intelligence, Radek was working with Ancient devices that promised fantastic new knowledge and/or certain death and the daily argument over whose turn it was to get more coffee had just begun. Perfectly normal, until suddenly there was a bright light and Rodney yelled "No!" and it wasn't a normal day anymore.
For one thing, Radek thought, if he laughed, his chances of certain death would jump up to 100%.
Rodney's...tail twitched and Radek bit down on his tongue. Hard. The other scientist looked horrified. "Oh my god, are these paws?" He held out two brown fluffy things that were seemly attached to the ends of his arms. Radek thought he saw nails protruding from the bottom of them. They looked sharp. "This is why we don't mess around with strange Gameboy-like things that have untranslated Ancient written on them, people!"
Miko, who had handed over the object to Rodney, made a sound that sounded suspiciously like "meep!". She took a step backwards, her eyes going wide.
Radek sighed and decided it was time for him to step in. "Rodney, you have a tail, paws and cat ears," he said, "I think you should go to the infirmary."
"What? Cat ears?" Rodney reached up to touch his head, and then abruptly put his paws down. "And what good will going to infirmary do? I don't think Carson has a vet degree - oh no, what if I have paws for feet too, it feels like I might -" He leaned down and tugged at his bootlaces.
"Rodney!" Radek shouted.
"What? Can't you see I'm involved in something more pressing here!" He looked up at Radek, his eyes flashing. Even his eyes seemed more cat-like, narrower and yellower. It's a good thing he is still so annoying, or I would have fallen over in laughter by now.
"Safety first, is that not what you said at the last meeting?" Rodney glared at him. "So that means infirmary."
"Okay, fine." Rodney frowned grudgingly. "But that means you look at that evil Gameboy. I am not staying like this." He waited until Radek had nodded, and then stomped off - towards the infirmary, Radek was pleased to note.
For thirty seconds, no one said anything. Then Miko giggled, a stray semi-hysterical sound. Soon, the whole room was convulsed in laughter.
Wiping his eyes, Radek finally said. "I think it's out of our system, yes?" Several people managed to nod. "Good. Then I think we should get back to work so not to get scolded later." He picked up a pair of gloves and slid them on. "Where is the device?" Miko, her right hand held over her mouth, pointed towards a table where the...evil Gameboy lay. Radek smiled at her. "Thank you."
*
After a half an hour of getting nowhere, he gave up and walked over to the infirmary. Rodney was sitting on one of the beds, fidgeting. "No more boots, I see," Radek said.
"I'm always right," Rodney told him, swinging his legs so Radek could see where he had paws instead of feet.
Radek nodded gravely. "How are you, otherwise?"
"Sheppard came by. He said he should have brought Ronon to play cats and dogs." Rodney looked dejected. Even his ears were flat. "I hate my life."
Radek raised an eyebrow. "You're still in Atlantis, yes? Home of wonderful Ancient technology?"
"A piece of which turned me into a cat person!" Behind him, his tail swayed threateningly.
Radek firmly told himself that he had done all his laughing in the lab. "Yes, speaking of which, if Dr. Beckett is done with his tests, I put your turning-into-cat-people device in a separate lab so we can work on it."
"You're the one who sent me to the infirmary in the first place, or did that slip your tiny brain?" Rodney said sarcastically. But he looked over his shoulder and yelled, "Carson! Can I leave already?"
Dr. Beckett appeared out of the other corner of the infirmary. "Impatient, aren't you?"
"Yes, well, some people have important getting rid of paws work to do, so if you could get on with it." Rodney waggled his front two paws for emphasis.
"As far as I can tell, you're perfectly within your normal parameters. You just have a few extras." He looked at Radek and smiled. "He's got all his shots, don't worry."
Radek pushed his glasses up and smiled back. "That is good to know."
"Hey!" Rodney exclaimed, sounding annoyed.
Dr. Beckett turned his attention back to him. "Though if you begin to get a wee itchy, it might be fleas..."
"Haha. Very funny, Carson."
Dr. Beckett smiled at him. "You're free to go, Rodney. Just stop in at Elizabeth's office first; I described the situation to her, but she wants to verify it for herself."
Rodney rolled his eyes at that, and really they were more cat-like. "Fine, fine."
*
Elizabeth turned out to be allergic to cats.
She was still sneezing when Rodney and Radek left her office, having reassured her that turning into a cat person didn't seem to be fatal or contagious. Rodney was philosophical about it. "At least this might get me out of staff meetings for a while."
"I'm not going in your place," Radek informed him.
Rodney looked askance at him. "Would you prefer me to send Kavanagh?"
"Then I would want popcorn, so I could watch Dr. Weir defeat him utterly."
*
Rodney stuck his head into the main lab as they passed by it. "Zelenka and I are going to figure out a way to turn me back," he informed them all, "In the meantime, don't touch anything that has untranslated writing on it and try not to blow up the city, please." Everyone nodded quickly. Rodney looked dubious, but confined himself to an single utterance of "idiots", muttered under his breath.
The looks of relief several of them shot Radek as he left with Rodney would have been gratifying, if he didn't also have the sense that they were glad to have someone to throw to the wolves.
Or cat, in this case.
*
They had tried everything with device they could think of. Rodney touched it and thought of being human. "Or as human as you get," Radek said which had resulted in being asked snappily if he had translated the writing yet or not.
It hadn't worked. The translations weren't coming either. Radek frowned at the translation program in his laptop. "It looks like all that writing is just different ways of saying 'beauty' and 'think' and 'two hands'."
Rodney looked over his shoulder. "Huh. Think beauty, two hands?"
Radek craned his neck to look up at him. "Maybe. What did you think the device was?" Actually, the cat ears began to seem more and more normal as time went on.
Rodney shrugged. "It might have really been an evil Gameboy. Remember that Ipod thing?"
"Oh, yes. I do not think I will ever forget it. It would only work for Colonel -"
"-Sheppard," Rodney continued. "And played horrible little jaunty tunes that sounded a lot like bad pop rock."
"Yes, and the Colonel loved it. Always had it playing." Radek shuddered. "What happened to it, anyway?"
"Ah," Rodney smiled evilly, "it didn't survive being accidentally dropped off a cliff. Pity, that."
Radek chuckled and turned his attention back to his laptop.
For several minutes, the only sound in the lab was Radek typing away at his laptop. Every now and then there were little clicking noises, which meant that Rodney was tapping his pointy nails against the table.
"What if we can't fix this?" Rodney suddenly asked. Radek glanced over at him. Rodney was slumped on his stool, staring at the device. "I mean, look at these," he said, holding up his front paws, "I can't use a laptop, I can barely even eat a powerbar and I certainly couldn't hold a gun."
"Rodney..." Radek begun.
"I mean it'll be terrible to escape being killed by the Wraith to just become a cat person, unable to work," Rodney’s voice broke on the last word and before he knew it, Radek had crossed the room to stand in front of him.
"It'll be all right," he said. Rodney looked at him and his eyes were still so very transparent.
For once, Radek didn't think, didn’t back up his data with empirical experiments in triplicate. He just did, placing his hands on Rodney's cheeks. The skin there was human, and warm. Rodney went very still.
Taking that for permission, Radek leaned in and kissed him. His mouth opened under Radek's, and now there was a paw on Radek's back, drawing him closer, drawing him in.
Finally, Radek had to break the kiss. His hands dropped down to Rodney's shoulders, but he couldn't bring himself to let go entirely. Rodney blinked at him, but didn't move away. "Wow," he said "Wait - do you get off on bestiality or something? Because I think I would have remembered this happening before -"
"I have wanted to do this for a long time," Radek interrupted.
"Yeah, well, your timing sucks." But then he leaned forward and kissed Radek again: a short, hard kiss, firmly on the lips. "I'm not having sex until we fix this, okay? I mean, I want to, I want to so much, but, just, no."
Radek told himself that this was called motivation and nodded. "Okay."
*
Motivation or not, Radek realized at 3 AM that there was also a thing called bed and perhaps they both should go there. He said as much to Rodney, and it was a testament both to how tired they were and what a strange day it had been that Rodney agreed without a single argument. In fact, Rodney was so out of it that he followed Radek back to his quarters and collapsed on Radek's bed.
"I thought you said we weren't doing this yet," Radek teased. But Rodney didn't reply to him, and when Radek looked over, he saw that the other scientist was already sleep. Greatly daring, Radek reached out and stroked the back of one of Rodney’s ears. It was soft and fuzzy. Rodney made a sound that was almost like a purr. He was adorable, curled up on Radek's unmade bed, paws tucked close to his chest and his tail hanging over the edge. But Radek though he knew a better word for Rodney.
"Krasny," he whispered, placing his glasses on the bedside table and climbing into bed next to the man he would like very much to love.
*
Radek bolted upright three hours later. He shook Rodney's shoulder. "Wake up!"
"Wha...?"
"I think I know how to fix it! It's, it's two hands, yes?"
Rodney sat up, all traces of sleep gone now. "And both Miko and I were holding it! But, wait, she doesn't have the gene, does she?"
"No," Radek shook his head. "But I think some of the other markings were another language. Not Ancient."
"No, and not gibberish after all. Trading partners, maybe?"
"Maybe. So?"
Rodney frowned. "I was thinking of my cat back on Earth and how she was always underfoot. Rather like certain scientists."
Radek laughed softly. "Poor Miko."
"I don't want to know what she was thinking." He scowled.
"She believes you to be very cute." Radek smirked.
"Oh, come on, we're just wasting time now." Rodney snorted. "Put your glasses on and let's get down to the lab."
"To the Batcave then?" Radek asked, getting up.
Rodney tossed him a grin. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."
*
Five minutes later, Radek was holding on to a maybe-not-so-Ancient device that still rather looked like an evil Gameboy and thinking of Rodney as human as hard as he could. Rodney's fingertips were touching his and he was just thinking that he felt very warm, when there was another bright light.
And there was Rodney, completely human. He was looking down at himself with delight, wriggling his fingers and toes.
Radek grinned, and just because he could, he said, "It is too bad, I was getting used to the cat ears."
Rodney made a face at him. "Oh shut up, and let me kiss you," he said - and because Radek was nobody's fool, he did.
-the end-
Krasny = Beautiful
Somebody's been feeding him catnip...or coffee. *g*
Pairing: McKay/Zelenka
Rating: PG
Summary: Rodney is a cat person. Emphasis on the person part.
Notes: Written for
sweetvalleyslut for the SV and SGA Flashfiction Challenge with the prompt of McKay/Zelenka, with McKay berating his science team, because I love that. What she got was a very cracked-out fic - I hope you still like it, sweetvalleyslut!Also,
amai, who is the most wonderful person ever, drew a picture to go along with the fic! It's at the bottom of page, after the story. *snuggles her*It was a normal day on Atlantis: Rodney was insulting everybody else's intelligence, Radek was working with Ancient devices that promised fantastic new knowledge and/or certain death and the daily argument over whose turn it was to get more coffee had just begun. Perfectly normal, until suddenly there was a bright light and Rodney yelled "No!" and it wasn't a normal day anymore.
For one thing, Radek thought, if he laughed, his chances of certain death would jump up to 100%.
Rodney's...tail twitched and Radek bit down on his tongue. Hard. The other scientist looked horrified. "Oh my god, are these paws?" He held out two brown fluffy things that were seemly attached to the ends of his arms. Radek thought he saw nails protruding from the bottom of them. They looked sharp. "This is why we don't mess around with strange Gameboy-like things that have untranslated Ancient written on them, people!"
Miko, who had handed over the object to Rodney, made a sound that sounded suspiciously like "meep!". She took a step backwards, her eyes going wide.
Radek sighed and decided it was time for him to step in. "Rodney, you have a tail, paws and cat ears," he said, "I think you should go to the infirmary."
"What? Cat ears?" Rodney reached up to touch his head, and then abruptly put his paws down. "And what good will going to infirmary do? I don't think Carson has a vet degree - oh no, what if I have paws for feet too, it feels like I might -" He leaned down and tugged at his bootlaces.
"Rodney!" Radek shouted.
"What? Can't you see I'm involved in something more pressing here!" He looked up at Radek, his eyes flashing. Even his eyes seemed more cat-like, narrower and yellower. It's a good thing he is still so annoying, or I would have fallen over in laughter by now.
"Safety first, is that not what you said at the last meeting?" Rodney glared at him. "So that means infirmary."
"Okay, fine." Rodney frowned grudgingly. "But that means you look at that evil Gameboy. I am not staying like this." He waited until Radek had nodded, and then stomped off - towards the infirmary, Radek was pleased to note.
For thirty seconds, no one said anything. Then Miko giggled, a stray semi-hysterical sound. Soon, the whole room was convulsed in laughter.
Wiping his eyes, Radek finally said. "I think it's out of our system, yes?" Several people managed to nod. "Good. Then I think we should get back to work so not to get scolded later." He picked up a pair of gloves and slid them on. "Where is the device?" Miko, her right hand held over her mouth, pointed towards a table where the...evil Gameboy lay. Radek smiled at her. "Thank you."
*
After a half an hour of getting nowhere, he gave up and walked over to the infirmary. Rodney was sitting on one of the beds, fidgeting. "No more boots, I see," Radek said.
"I'm always right," Rodney told him, swinging his legs so Radek could see where he had paws instead of feet.
Radek nodded gravely. "How are you, otherwise?"
"Sheppard came by. He said he should have brought Ronon to play cats and dogs." Rodney looked dejected. Even his ears were flat. "I hate my life."
Radek raised an eyebrow. "You're still in Atlantis, yes? Home of wonderful Ancient technology?"
"A piece of which turned me into a cat person!" Behind him, his tail swayed threateningly.
Radek firmly told himself that he had done all his laughing in the lab. "Yes, speaking of which, if Dr. Beckett is done with his tests, I put your turning-into-cat-people device in a separate lab so we can work on it."
"You're the one who sent me to the infirmary in the first place, or did that slip your tiny brain?" Rodney said sarcastically. But he looked over his shoulder and yelled, "Carson! Can I leave already?"
Dr. Beckett appeared out of the other corner of the infirmary. "Impatient, aren't you?"
"Yes, well, some people have important getting rid of paws work to do, so if you could get on with it." Rodney waggled his front two paws for emphasis.
"As far as I can tell, you're perfectly within your normal parameters. You just have a few extras." He looked at Radek and smiled. "He's got all his shots, don't worry."
Radek pushed his glasses up and smiled back. "That is good to know."
"Hey!" Rodney exclaimed, sounding annoyed.
Dr. Beckett turned his attention back to him. "Though if you begin to get a wee itchy, it might be fleas..."
"Haha. Very funny, Carson."
Dr. Beckett smiled at him. "You're free to go, Rodney. Just stop in at Elizabeth's office first; I described the situation to her, but she wants to verify it for herself."
Rodney rolled his eyes at that, and really they were more cat-like. "Fine, fine."
*
Elizabeth turned out to be allergic to cats.
She was still sneezing when Rodney and Radek left her office, having reassured her that turning into a cat person didn't seem to be fatal or contagious. Rodney was philosophical about it. "At least this might get me out of staff meetings for a while."
"I'm not going in your place," Radek informed him.
Rodney looked askance at him. "Would you prefer me to send Kavanagh?"
"Then I would want popcorn, so I could watch Dr. Weir defeat him utterly."
*
Rodney stuck his head into the main lab as they passed by it. "Zelenka and I are going to figure out a way to turn me back," he informed them all, "In the meantime, don't touch anything that has untranslated writing on it and try not to blow up the city, please." Everyone nodded quickly. Rodney looked dubious, but confined himself to an single utterance of "idiots", muttered under his breath.
The looks of relief several of them shot Radek as he left with Rodney would have been gratifying, if he didn't also have the sense that they were glad to have someone to throw to the wolves.
Or cat, in this case.
*
They had tried everything with device they could think of. Rodney touched it and thought of being human. "Or as human as you get," Radek said which had resulted in being asked snappily if he had translated the writing yet or not.
It hadn't worked. The translations weren't coming either. Radek frowned at the translation program in his laptop. "It looks like all that writing is just different ways of saying 'beauty' and 'think' and 'two hands'."
Rodney looked over his shoulder. "Huh. Think beauty, two hands?"
Radek craned his neck to look up at him. "Maybe. What did you think the device was?" Actually, the cat ears began to seem more and more normal as time went on.
Rodney shrugged. "It might have really been an evil Gameboy. Remember that Ipod thing?"
"Oh, yes. I do not think I will ever forget it. It would only work for Colonel -"
"-Sheppard," Rodney continued. "And played horrible little jaunty tunes that sounded a lot like bad pop rock."
"Yes, and the Colonel loved it. Always had it playing." Radek shuddered. "What happened to it, anyway?"
"Ah," Rodney smiled evilly, "it didn't survive being accidentally dropped off a cliff. Pity, that."
Radek chuckled and turned his attention back to his laptop.
For several minutes, the only sound in the lab was Radek typing away at his laptop. Every now and then there were little clicking noises, which meant that Rodney was tapping his pointy nails against the table.
"What if we can't fix this?" Rodney suddenly asked. Radek glanced over at him. Rodney was slumped on his stool, staring at the device. "I mean, look at these," he said, holding up his front paws, "I can't use a laptop, I can barely even eat a powerbar and I certainly couldn't hold a gun."
"Rodney..." Radek begun.
"I mean it'll be terrible to escape being killed by the Wraith to just become a cat person, unable to work," Rodney’s voice broke on the last word and before he knew it, Radek had crossed the room to stand in front of him.
"It'll be all right," he said. Rodney looked at him and his eyes were still so very transparent.
For once, Radek didn't think, didn’t back up his data with empirical experiments in triplicate. He just did, placing his hands on Rodney's cheeks. The skin there was human, and warm. Rodney went very still.
Taking that for permission, Radek leaned in and kissed him. His mouth opened under Radek's, and now there was a paw on Radek's back, drawing him closer, drawing him in.
Finally, Radek had to break the kiss. His hands dropped down to Rodney's shoulders, but he couldn't bring himself to let go entirely. Rodney blinked at him, but didn't move away. "Wow," he said "Wait - do you get off on bestiality or something? Because I think I would have remembered this happening before -"
"I have wanted to do this for a long time," Radek interrupted.
"Yeah, well, your timing sucks." But then he leaned forward and kissed Radek again: a short, hard kiss, firmly on the lips. "I'm not having sex until we fix this, okay? I mean, I want to, I want to so much, but, just, no."
Radek told himself that this was called motivation and nodded. "Okay."
*
Motivation or not, Radek realized at 3 AM that there was also a thing called bed and perhaps they both should go there. He said as much to Rodney, and it was a testament both to how tired they were and what a strange day it had been that Rodney agreed without a single argument. In fact, Rodney was so out of it that he followed Radek back to his quarters and collapsed on Radek's bed.
"I thought you said we weren't doing this yet," Radek teased. But Rodney didn't reply to him, and when Radek looked over, he saw that the other scientist was already sleep. Greatly daring, Radek reached out and stroked the back of one of Rodney’s ears. It was soft and fuzzy. Rodney made a sound that was almost like a purr. He was adorable, curled up on Radek's unmade bed, paws tucked close to his chest and his tail hanging over the edge. But Radek though he knew a better word for Rodney.
"Krasny," he whispered, placing his glasses on the bedside table and climbing into bed next to the man he would like very much to love.
*
Radek bolted upright three hours later. He shook Rodney's shoulder. "Wake up!"
"Wha...?"
"I think I know how to fix it! It's, it's two hands, yes?"
Rodney sat up, all traces of sleep gone now. "And both Miko and I were holding it! But, wait, she doesn't have the gene, does she?"
"No," Radek shook his head. "But I think some of the other markings were another language. Not Ancient."
"No, and not gibberish after all. Trading partners, maybe?"
"Maybe. So?"
Rodney frowned. "I was thinking of my cat back on Earth and how she was always underfoot. Rather like certain scientists."
Radek laughed softly. "Poor Miko."
"I don't want to know what she was thinking." He scowled.
"She believes you to be very cute." Radek smirked.
"Oh, come on, we're just wasting time now." Rodney snorted. "Put your glasses on and let's get down to the lab."
"To the Batcave then?" Radek asked, getting up.
Rodney tossed him a grin. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."
*
Five minutes later, Radek was holding on to a maybe-not-so-Ancient device that still rather looked like an evil Gameboy and thinking of Rodney as human as hard as he could. Rodney's fingertips were touching his and he was just thinking that he felt very warm, when there was another bright light.
And there was Rodney, completely human. He was looking down at himself with delight, wriggling his fingers and toes.
Radek grinned, and just because he could, he said, "It is too bad, I was getting used to the cat ears."
Rodney made a face at him. "Oh shut up, and let me kiss you," he said - and because Radek was nobody's fool, he did.
-the end-
Krasny = Beautiful
Somebody's been feeding him catnip...or coffee. *g*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-25 03:55 am (UTC)Couldn't love you more.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-25 03:55 am (UTC)Couldn't love you more.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 06:07 pm (UTC)OMG! That's the most adorable thing ever! Cute Cat!Rodney and Radek just being Radek *hearts*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 06:17 pm (UTC)flat dejected ears! fleas! elizabeth is ALLERGIC! A PAW ON RADEK'S BACK OMGOMGOMGOMG. You are my hero.
also? this may be the best line of the month: "Then I would want popcorn, so I could watch Dr. Weir defeat him utterly."
no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:20 am (UTC)*blushes madly* Thank you so much! And I'm really glad you liked that Elizabeth is allegic - because my thought was, well, of course she's allergic and then I wondered if my thought processes were completely off or what. (my brain: you wrote Rodney as a cat boy! you have no thought processes left! i'm leaving you for a cute scientist in Hawaii!)
also? this may be the best line of the month: "Then I would want popcorn, so I could watch Dr. Weir defeat him utterly."
*beams* I'm glad you liked that line - I was a bit nervous about my Radek voice since I haven't written a whole story from his POV before. ^^;
And then I, um, took a look at your LJ and figured that we might have things in common, so I friended you. Hope that's okay!
In any case, thank you for such wonderful feedback (and if you liked the pic as well, please tell
no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:23 am (UTC)aww, Rodney and his sad flat cat ears!
He's such a woobie sometimes. *snuggles cat!Rodney* *is careful not to get scratched*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:25 am (UTC)(And if you liked the pic as well, you can leave a comment to
no subject
Date: 2005-10-25 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 05:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 06:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-25 10:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 01:28 am (UTC)(and the pic!!
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Date: 2005-10-31 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-16 12:15 am (UTC)