A Hazy Shade of Winter

[ekaterinn]

*sighs* I hate being so emotional. I wish my emotions would just go /away/ sometimes. I won't go into why I'm feeling emotional right now, because I don't feel like sorting through the tangle of reasons on paper. I'm just going to drink my coca and write because nobody is around to talk to. *sighs* I want my Bej. Or at least someone to talk to. I don't want to be alone right now, but I don't want to go out because it's raining and cold and I'm miserable enough as it is.

I didn't get any sleep last night - I kept tossing and turning and having wierd dreams. If you think this is a depressing entry, be glad I didn't write one this morning. I went to Organic at 8:30 but I didn't learn a thing. Completely and utterly worthless. I don't even know why I'm doing Science. I skipped out of Latin after taking my quiz. I told him I didn't feel well, which was true enough. That was the high point of my day. Let's not even go into Genetics.

I want to see Bej. I think I'll call her tomorrow or Sunday or ask her to call me tonight. I still have to do her surprise. ^^;; And I need to do something for ma belle.

I have so many things to do it's not even funny. I don't feel like doing any of them. I should be sleeping, if I'm not working, but I'm not that tired either. Maybe I should take a nap anyways - I'm going out to see Preaching to the Perverted with Chris tonight and I'll need my energy.

Or maybe not. I think I'll try to get some work done now. If anyone's reading this, thanks for listening.

*disappears*

And the leaves that are green turn to brown...

Comments

[shigure.livejournal.com]

awww (huggles) i know what you mean sukai, i miss okaasama too... she makes everything more tolerable in life... (pouts)

awwwwww

[bejiin.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
Hey love... you SHOULD call me... i'd be so happy to hear from you. Oh well... i'll leave you some story to cheer you up

The waves lap onto the shore touching the tips of my toes. The sun kisses my bare skin where my fuku has been torn. My hair blows in the breezes of the salty air, sticky rainbow strands falling into my face. I know that right now I am not the picture of the princess I used to be. I'm battle weary, bloody, and dying. My darling Toraiko wouldn't love me like I am now, I fear. He's far gone now, but that's for later.
I realize that time is short. Soon I will join my father and of course my predecessor Hino Rei. I can only hope I've lived up to their expectations. How could I, Crystal Mars, even begin to compare with the great Senshi of Mars? And what will my father say? I deserted him on my wedding day. I left him with that awful Van Doom and destroyed our beautiful Tokai in one fell swoop. How my father must hate me. I never even got to say goodbye, I haven't avenged his death either. The father killer still lives. He lives to kill more senshi, he already killed Serenity and her kin. The world is surely lost.
I guess that's why I've returned here, the place where I first met Master Tatsu, fell in love with Toraiko, learned my true self worth. I stand at the place where water meets sand and whisper my story to the wind.
I stood at the waterfront my red hair whipping in the wind behind me. My emerald green eyes frantically searched the water for a ship, my father's ship, the best ship in the whole fleet of the Kalame dynasty.
"Aida!" the worried voice of my tutor shouted from the large cottage further inland. "Aida, your father won't be here for three more hours. Get back in here so that we can continue our lessons."
I giggle softly. Poor Toraiko is still sitting in the school house waiting patiently for our tutor's return. He always has been too cooperative, unlike me. They say I'm wild like the flame, just like my mother used to be. I don't really want to go back to the school room right now. Miss Dracos is teaching us the history of Crystal Tokyo, the city that used to stand where Tokai is now. I don't really want to listen because she's not telling it right. Sure she can fool Toraiko, he's from Kinnatsu; but I know that she's lying. She is afterall a silverleaf, related to the horrid Doom family.
But don't get me started on the Doom family. Someday we will overcome them. It does not matter to me that the process will be long, painful, and riddled with destruction. I am young and ideallistic. Whatever the price is, I'll pay it.
"Aida..." Miss Dracos sounded more insistant this time. I can only guess that I'll have to go back into the school room and memorize the Silverleaf's version of history. I give the shore line one last long search before turning back and walking towards my flustered teacher. After all it's not becoming of a princess to run...
"The prince of Earth tried his best to save his planet. However, the prince had been enchanted by a powerful sorceress from the moon, the self proclaimed princess. An ally of Silverleaf, the Lady Beryl was able to free the earth from the diabolical grasp of the moon sorceress and the dazed prince, unfortunately it came at the cost of the prince's life as well as much of the Earth its self. As you know, the moon witch, like the prince, was reincarnated once the Earth had healed. This time much like the last, the prince was too weak to resist the moon witch. Not even the efforts of Lady Beryl could stop her the second time around. The moon witch easily defeated all who stood in her way and once again began to destroy the Earth. She deceived you all and ruled with an iron fist. Her name, which shall be hated forever, was Serenity."

continued

[bejiin.livejournal.com]

I sigh. How much of this must a girl take? This must be the twentieth time Miss Dracos has said that today and while Toraiko may enjoy being brainwashed I'm beginning to find this quite dull. I glance back out the window and gasp with shock as I see a large boat approaching.
"Excuse me, Miss Dracos, father's ship is here. Couldn't we be excused for now?"
Miss Dracos turns to look out the window and then turns back and glares at me. Adjusting the wire glasses on her small nose she shuts the tome she has been preaching from and gives a sigh. "If I said no would you listen, Aida?"
I smile and shrug. She may be my teacher but that doesn't mean I have to like her. After all she is of silverleaf. She is one of the ones that killed Serenity and her senshi. She may believe that Serenity was a witch, but I know the truth. I wish that I could be as great a ruler as Serenity was, however, I worry that the Doom Kingdom will find a way to take even that away from me. Grabbing Toraiko by the wrist I rise from my desk and dash towards the door. I'll teach that boy how to live yet...

Just because my father's ship is fast, that doesn't mean that my /father/ is expedient. We stand and watch the ship unload crate after crate of who knows what. "Aida!" Toraiko protests, "We should be in class."
I roll my eyes. "Do you really want to hear that phoney account of old Earth one more time?"
Toraiko stares at me his deep blue eyes pondering my implications. Deep down I suspect that he knows that Miss Dracos is lying to us... After all, even if he can't tell, I already know who he is. I won't tell him of course. He's not really mine to tell. If Serenity were here, she'd set him straight, but she's not and it is not my place. Just once before we die I shall call him by his true name, but call me selfish, I'm rather attached to Tor, and if he knew who he truly was I doubt he'd waste any more time with a silly girl like me.
He is still staring at me as if waiting for me to explain and so I smile mindlessly at him remembering the first time we met.

A girl of ten cares little for dressing up in a frilly pink smock and waiting in the throne room, a perfect doll, for whatever guest would merit her dressing up. The girl, her red hair a row of tight shiny ringlets, of course, would much rather be exploring the palace grounds, or bothering Master Tatsu.
Sitting in an uncomfortable wooden chair next to my nanny and watching my father seated on the throne was definately not my idea of fun. It explained why I squirmed constantly and periodically disrupted the court with some odd outburst. After that day it was several years before I was invited back to court... Although I felt no loss about not being invited to court. I always found court etiquitte to be fake and dull.
Nevertheless, that warm summer day found me inside the throne room, awaiting destiny. I had no concept of it, but my solitary life of exploration and mischief was about to change. Sometime close to noon, a boy of about my age was brought in. He had clear blue eyes and dark ebony hair and while he was still very much a boy, there was no doubt that he would some day be an intimidating man. I suppose the thing that caught my interest with this boy was that he seemed cool and confidant, completely at ease with standing before my father. He was introduced as prince Toraiko of Kinnatsu and with a stately bow he easily spoke his case with my father. Apparently he had been sent by his father to learn the ways of Tokai, the most powerful kingdom on earth. He wished to study the kingdom of Tokai in order to better rule Kinnatsu some day. It was a reasonable enough request and my father was glad to grant it, on the condition that Prince Toraiko had no objections to having a classmate. Toraiko, the amiable person he's always been, had no objections and so my daily studies with the prince of Kinnatsu began.

Re: continued

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

Ohhh...this is so cool! So you've started writing this, ne? I hardly know what to write in response, but I'll do Tor's view of things later...thanks, love! *hugs*